LET’S BE FWENDS ISSUE #92:
FIND A GEM TO START A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!”
~ Douglas Adams
Hello again! This edition of Let’s be Fwends deals with conversations (again!), fish (not again) and Motörhead (also, not again). It is also my own personal Waterloo, because my need of reducing the time it takes me to compose these emails finally trumped my desire to_do it right._So I guess we all have to live with a simplified layout now.
How to Have a Difficult Conversation
We all have difficult conversations. At least - when we’re open, and honest, and don’t hide away from them. Adar Cohen shares his experiences with facilitating difficult conversations, and how he aims “for one of three outcomes: a solution, a plan or an understanding”.
In my experience, finding understanding is usually enough with non-toxic people. Whatever the grievance and personal history: If people genuinely what to understand each other, they want to connect.
I love one particular idea: That good conversations often involve a really powerful, non-judgemental statement everyone can relate to. Adar calls that a “gem statement” and goes on explaining:
“You can tell it’s a gem when you’re terribly tempted to tack on a grievance to the end of it. Like this: I can tell you care a lot about reaching our team’s goals, but the way you go about it is causing great difficulty to everyone around you. If you find yourself doing this, leave out the second part. You’ll get to say it, just not here.”
This is really great, and so true! Also, it’s much more than a mere defusing tactic, it’s a a great tool to understand what is going on. As I cited in some other place: “If things heat up, get curious”.Gem statements are a way to understand the other person.
Image Credit: Drago Persic, a good friend and marvellous artist.
Procedurally Generated Fish
The Ace of Spades - Played on Church Bells
Of course. The Dutch. Who else?
That’s it from this edition of Let’s be Fwends, I have a question for you: Do you think it’s possible to have a difficult conversation with a 🐠?
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